This past year I moved 3 times, tried to get over a broken heart, had one almost relationship that lasted 4 months, shut down romantically, dealt with the aftermath of my failed marriage, sold my house, learned to draw, took beginner ballet lessons, started a business, paid off debt accrued from the pending divorce, took up yoga, went to GA, VT, NC, NY, NJ, PA, and FL. I fell -- for a brief moment -- into a near-stranger's arms (hint: exude the right immunoglobulin protein markers in your pheremones, make me laugh and be my penpal for months and you could be next! lol). I also intercepted a streetfight, did an odd interview for a TV show, carried (with help) someone passed out drunk to their ride home, learned to shoot a gun, shifted to an early morning schedule, and played my keyboard for the first time in years.
This has been a year out of my comfort zone.
Reflecting back is at times embarrassing, shameful, painful, joyful and peaceful.
So I have one New Year's resolution: take better care of myself.
I made it broad on purpose. Because everything I want to do falls under this giant umbrella.
Physically, I mean to spend an hour a day devoted to my well-being -- and this can be stretching or even a massage if I feel super shitty -- but mostly I mean to work the fuck out. It's about establishing a habit. I'm giving myself an out for days I'm sick or down so it'll be easier to keep this appointment with myself.
And emotionally, I mean for this to translate to not DOING things that make me feel shitty.
Noticing how many girls an ex has friended on their last club outing feels really crummy. Reaching out to a crush without an equal and positive response feels shitty. Berating myself for my frailties feels really shitty. I don't really want to feel this shitty all the time anymore.
So. 2012. The year of taking better care of myself. And not doing things that make me feel shitty.