Except this isn't about my genitals, it's about something even more amorphous: an invisible being who existed 2,000 years ago and apparently had some very strong opinions about things.
Family Member: "Hey, want to watch this 7 minute video on why the people of the Duck God cannot marry the people of the Rabbit God?"
Me: "I'm not really so interested in that but thanks. BTW, have I mentioned that I'm dating a man of the Rabbit God?"
Family Member: "Oh yeah, hey, about that. No offense but I can't go to the wedding if you get married."
Me: "What? Really?"
Family Member: "It's not personal. Seriously, just watch this video and it will explain why you're a pariah. Peace out!"
Me: "But my last husband was of the Rabbit God?"
Family Member: "Oh, yeah, well, I didn't realize I wasn't supposed to go. Yeah I'm actually forbidden. No hard feelings though!"
How can there ever be hope for peace as long as people can believe such separatist nonsense? This exchange was not only deeply depressing on a personal level but on a global level as well. Mankind is doomed. DOOMED!