Awkward...! (aka, size does NOT matter.)

I met one of my most recent guy friends on Craigslist, of all places. He placed an ad a while back asking to meet someone NOT for romance but instead to share like anguish from a breakup. We arranged a tenuous meeting at Starbucks, learned that neither of us is a serial killer and we now talk regularly. We joke around about the state of our hearts and the awkwardness of dating. Last night in art class:

me: So, yeah, we've never met and he's always texting me "Good morning, beautiful!" I mean, the first time was flattering but now I'm getting overwhelmed. Here look. Look at these long texts. "You're worth the wait." Huh? What wait? What worth? He doesn't even know me.

him: You've never met?

me: No. We were going to -- I found him online before I deleted my profile. He's one of the ones that I thought okay, as long as we agree that this will JUST be friends, I'll go through with the date. But then I got sick and busy and so the meetup never happened.

him: Huh. Yeah, I understand. There's this one woman who keeps telling me about her body. I don't know why she's always talking about it.

me: What does she say?

him: Like, she kept telling me her pants size size. Six or seven, whatever that means.

me: I guess she wants you to know she is thin and attractive.

him: Whatever. It's a total turnoff. And then she started to talk about more details that I don't need to know.

me: Like what?

him: Like "I am very large up top. VERY large. Like, it's very noticeable." She goes on and on about this in emails.

me: [giggling] You're kidding! I don't think I've mentioned a single physical attribute to any of the guys I corresponded with. I mean, they saw pictures, that's enough.

him: Yeah, it's completely repulsive. I only want one person, my ex, and this other stuff is just stressing me out. I know it's supposed to be good for me and all but man, I hate it.

me: Yeah, me too.

This morning I got a text from him (my friend) poking fun at our situations:

So uh, yeah. In case you didn't already know this, size doesn't matter. It's a mix of chemistry and sensitivity and timing!