Sunday, October 3, 2010


Pardon the vampire reference but I just came back from seeing the movie Let Me In.

I think the appeal of dating casually without romance (the reason for this blog) was that I didn't have to let anyone in. Didn't have to risk getting hurt. I've been burned and I'm now shy. In this way, I now pass on the curse carried by my previous beau. Those who've been bitten by the dual-fanged vampires of love and abuse carry the burden of inner confinement forward. But without risk, I'll never discover the opportunity for joy again.

I'm scared.

This past year has seen many endings. I don't take loss well, I think. Part of me feels it's respectful to pay reverence to those things of great import with repose, quietly meditating their myriad meanings. They've led me to where I am today and I am grateful for the lessons learned, even if painful. Knowledge is expensive but oh so worthy. A moment of silence, please.

However, I realize I can't stay in place forever, and so tomorrow I will quietly tiptoe into the future.

“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.” ~Walter Anderson

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