It was time to buy PANTS.

The girl is 10 and the boy is 12. They kept cracking me up.

Mom: "You need pants!"
Boy: ::rolls eyes:: 

And that's how we found ourselves in the JC Penney.

Fifteen minutes later, mom handed an armload of jeans to the boy.

"I HATE this place," he said, trudging off to the fitting room.

I ran off with the girl to make fun of obnoxious jewelry.

Pants were eventually purchased and we left the store, much to the boy's relief.

But guys, the JC Penney is right next to a Walmart.

WALMART.

See full post)

Dudes, I'm visiting Vermont.

How can I not stop in Walmart?

It should be a mission: visit a Walmart in each state. Catalogue teh crazy.

Of course I want to contribute to the People of Walmart (POW) blog. I consider it a civic duty, actually.

I explained this serious mission to the kids. (Actually the kids initiated the idea. "There were really strange people last time we were here.")

Me: "Ok kids, now if you see anything um, unusual, and want to point it out, let's have a code. Say 'I'm hungry.'" (Because, you know, kids want to say stuff like "LOOK AT THAT THOUSAND POUND LADY!" which is wholly embarrassing in public.)

(For the next 30 minutes -->) Kids: "I'M HUNGRY!! I'M HUNGRY!!" 

One other thing about Vermont? It's fucking COLD in this mofo. I packed 5 outfits for 5 days and have worn ALL FIVE OUTFITS EVERY DAY. And I was still fucking freezing. It's not even the dead of winter!