a lot going on

Just to end 2012 with a bang, I'm going through another kind of personal crisis (because, you know, the someday-everyone-you-love-will-die issue wasn't enough), and so I've been wrapped up the past coupla days. The one thing making this a tiny bit less awful is The Cyclist. He has displayed a side I did not know he had nor expected to see and holy cow, does that guy have class. How do you even thank someone for being a good person? For being amazing? I don't know.

He gets embarrassed when I gush, I think. Last time I saw him coming out of the metro, I wanted to throw my arms around him on sight because he looked so cute and was smiling. Hard not to feel affectionate for awesome people. Of course, THIS guy (date 2 years ago) wouldn't ever believe I'm capable of physically touching another human being, but chemistry is chemistry.

I'm supposed to do social things tomorrow but freelancing isn't done so will have to put that first. Plus I feel like lying low right now anyway. We'll see.

Looking back over this sad sack recollection of the past couple of years, it's kindof embarrassing to see such boring and self-centered moping all throughout this blog. But at least I accomplished what I wanted: a log for myself, in some way, to measure progress, remember and vent. I use it too -- sometimes someone will ask me a question ("when did you date so-and-so?" etc.) and I don't remember the exact time frame so I look it up.

This post is one of those. I don't really want to talk about all that's happening right now, or maybe ever, but I might want to look back one day and remember some tiny details.

Friends & family have also been awesome. A heartfelt thank you isn't enough. <3