Everything is completely different from the air. The world has a different perspective from 20,000 feet.
I'm in Florida now visiting a BFF. I lifted into the air a few days ago, just when my knotted mind was sifting through the insecurities I described in my previous post. I saw the houses and cars shrink away and I thought "look at all the tiny homes and all the drama that can go on inside one of those little rectangles. Goodness, how small everything is from up here."
Like the time I was lying next to the aqua-eyed boy while tiny knives stabbed at my heart, breathing him in and yet knowing I had to let it go or it'd destroy me. That time is so puny from here. Insignificance can be so comforting. This large beautiful world can swallow my worries. It really can.
Maybe this is how many imagine heaven, removed from the pains of lessons taught to our unwilling souls.
From here I can pretend I am looking down at that tiny girl whose arms were wrapped around the guy who couldn't love her and wrap my own around instead. The world is so much larger than you know, I want to say. It will be okay. The earth is big enough to hold a boy who will love you back. Don't punish yourself anymore sweetie. It's okay.
Isn't it amazing how an airplane can give you so much perspective? I've always felt this way on planes. If only the distanced perspective would stay with us, and not get lost in the routine of daily life and love.
ReplyDelete"Like the time I was lying next to him while tiny knives stabbed at my heart, breathing him in and yet knowing I had to let it go or it'd destroy me." You put eloquent words to the feelings I feel each day. Good luck to you.
"The earth is big enough to hold a boy who will love you back. Don't punish yourself anymore sweetie. It's okay."
ReplyDeletegreat words to live by. wonderful wonderful