Monday, August 11, 2014

Pick-up artists suck and if you are following their advice, you're either going to be alone forever or stuck in a string of shitty relationships. There, I said it.

So, a guy friend of mine confessed he'd been reading up in the pick-up artist community about how to get women. My ears perked up. Pick-up artist community? There's such a thing? People giving advice on how to be a dick? There's a market for that?? So I looked up one of his sources and found this guy, who is not only annoying and arrogant, but also completely fucking wrong:

If a guy doesn't stay in regular contact, I assume he's not interested and let him go. A girl wants to feel like she's on your mind. Homeslice, that's foreplay. It's the follow-through that really warms a girl's heart.

Also wrong: telling a girl you want don't want to just be friends. Some guy just did that with me. After only the THIRD date! Look, you're cute and I like you, but I hardly know you. Wanting all or nothing this early is too much too soon. I want to be friends so I can get to know you without pressure.

I don't know what's in that video guy's book but I'll tell you what girls want:
  • Be into us. We like good men who pay attention and appreciate us.
  • Be confident. Our primitive brains need to feel like you can take down a saber tooth tiger and protect us. If you appear nervous or insecure, it's a turnoff. How do you display confidence? Don't slouch. Take up space. A cobra expands to intimidate its foes (in hopes that it won't have to strike); lots of animals make their bodies larger to signify power and control in their environment, these cues apply for people as well. We're animals too.
  • Invest in us. Invest your resources in us like your time and attention. Make us feel special.
I mean, do those things IF you want a quality person. If you want someone who has some kind of attachment disorder, then fine, the games above will work, and you will win the girl and have a shitty relationship. Good luck!


  1. This is one of the biggest "make money online" markets out there.

    It's also one where the customer's failure more or less guarantees repeat business.

    They have no reason or incentive to actually give anything near good advice. (And what they do suggest is utterly terrifying and, coupled with the popularity of their products, is one of the main reasons there are so many of "those guys" out there making the rest of us look bad.)

  2. I think they *believe* they're giving good advice -- I have no doubt that the guy above is sincere (even if completely misguided). I watched that video and thought huh, maybe *women* should be giving guys advice on how to get women, since the strategies he mentioned aren't based on the assumption that men and women are people who need and want to care about each other.

    What is the terrifying part -- the depersonalization of women into simple conquests or that unfulfilled people will continue to be unfulfilled (thus hurting themselves and others)?

    1. I'll buy that the middle men do believe what they're selling, but the top guys... the top guys have to know exactly what they're doing. You can't know that much psychology without understanding exactly what you're setting people up for.

      The terrifying part is how they reduce people down to commodities and propagate the idea that a man is only worth the number of "conquests" he achieves. Most do everything they can to prevent introspection and instead focus on playing mind games with and sewing doubt in their "marks". So, everyone--both the "artist" and the "marks" are suffering in this model.

      There are some exceptions to the rules... but none that I can name off the top of my head. Most are just scum in my view... and most who buy into their philosophy I just feel sorry for because of how much "catching up" they're going to have to do once they realize how empty they end up.