Sunday, August 3, 2014


They say an impression forms within 6 seconds of meeting someone. If that's true, my first impression with this afternoon's date was annoyed, like, "I interrupted my nice afternoon for THIS?"

The initial greet was so awkward and forced, I didn't feel optimistic about the ensuing 30 minutes. Still, he held the door open for me all gentlemanly-like, secured two coffees, and we wandered onto the patio. 

We chatted awkwardly. He'd gone so far out of his way to meet me that I instantly felt bad for even making the location suggestion since he must have been having an even worst time. Not only was conversation not flowing but I couldn't even offer the slight minimal reward of being a terrible date but at least being easy on the eyes, thanks to this morning's (every morning's, actually) disastrous hair (and face) fail.

But then I noticed something weird shifting inside. I started to feel... comfortable. Where was my usual nervousness? Maybe because he didn't seem to be sizing me up, he was just talking and being himself. He was humble, confident and comfortable all at the same time, and this relaxed me. I'd been on third dates with two other guys earlier this weekend and didn't feel that much more relaxed around them than the first two times we'd met up. How was this so much easier?

Not easy: dating, or Tupperware management.

But then we started finishing each other's sentences and bantering back and forth about articles and I was having a blast! Imagine that.

Fun, except with that old-fashioned talking thing.

You know how when you have a first date and it's so amazing you can't wait to get home and tell someone? Yeah, me either. Because that almost NEVER happens. When it does, it's usually an encounter with a mirage, a hopeful sighting of fool's gold. But that happened this time.

He kissed me politely as we parted, then looked long and hard in my eyes and said, "Yep."

I started laughing. Somehow it was perfect.

In other news, something else shifted with the Cyclist, and we had maybe the most honest talk ever (mostly me thinking out loud about where I've been the past few years). I realized I could admit where I'd been about him and now that reality was clear, realizing he knew. He always knew. I was never transparent.

There is something really healing and beautiful to be 100% accepted, and understanding that acceptance doesn't have to do with sameness. He doesn't need to ever have been where I was but that doesn't negate the shared strong sense of value. It's another turning point for me to truly get this.

I took a chill pill
He's met a cute girl, maybe it will or maybe it won't turn into anything but I feel certain, having been in those shoes, that she will fall for him. She will see the kind of person he is, how could she not fall in love? He may have to navigate the waters around another sensitive heart but he sailed the last course just fine. It will all be okay, whatever it will be.

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