A dating summary of the past few years

-- Him: "Every day there are like 10 women I want to have [relations] with." 

Me: "So I guess this is winding down?" 

Him: "No, I told my ex-wife this kind of thing all the time and I was crazy about her!" 

-- "I only need to live in my parent's basement for a few years until I get my grad degree." (He was 40.)

-- "Want a sip of my smoothie? I added vodka!" (He was driving.) 

-- "I don't like to hold hands or be affectionate. Actually I don't like relationships, at all."

-- "You don't mind that I still live with my ex, right?"

-- "Can I call you back? Now isn't a good time, I just had to call the police to protect me from my teenaged son."

-- "My 7 year old can't sleep alone, he sleeps with me. That's cool when we get married, right?"

-- "You're the first woman I've touched in a year since my wife died."

-- "Sometimes I like to have relations with men."

-- (On a first date) "Want to sleep over? I got the guest room ready just for you!"

-- "Sorry for being a dick. Want to go to a bondage club?"

-- Him: "I don't think we have enough in common. I mean, you like animals and nature." 

Me: "You're right, but I'm curious. I don't actually mention that in my profile, where did you see that?" 

Him: "We talked about it!!" 

Me (looking through our text convo): "Oh, you mean when I commented that YOUR DOG was cute??"

-- Then there was the guy who grabbed my back fat on a date and injured it. Fat is sensitive!

Is it any wonder that everyone hates dating??