Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Oh, Pinterest!

Me last year (if I had a fantasy wedding, which I don't). Hilarious!

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Hi, if you just watch this 7 minute video, it will explain why you're wrong

I think I finally understand what must be like to be gay or transgender or something unacceptable to mainstream society, and risk being vulnerable to finally tell people, "hey, this is who I am" only to hear, "yeah, um, well, sorry bruh... I love you but you realize you're an abomination, right?"

Except this isn't about my genitals, it's about something even more amorphous: an invisible being who existed 2,000 years ago and apparently had some very strong opinions about things.

Family Member: "Hey, want to watch this 7 minute video on why the people of the Duck God cannot marry the people of the Rabbit God?"

Me: "I'm not really so interested in that but thanks. BTW, have I mentioned that I'm dating a man of the Rabbit God?"

Family Member: "Oh yeah, hey, about that. No offense but I can't go to the wedding if you get married."

Me: "What? Really?"

Family Member: "It's not personal. Seriously, just watch this video and it will explain why you're a pariah. Peace out!"

Me: "But my last husband was of the Rabbit God?"

Family Member: "Oh, yeah, well, I didn't realize I wasn't supposed to go. Yeah I'm actually forbidden. No hard feelings though!"
Yeah. No hard feelings, bruh. We're cool.

How can there ever be hope for peace as long as people can believe such separatist nonsense? This exchange was not only deeply depressing on a personal level but on a global level as well. Mankind is doomed. DOOMED!

Friday, July 24, 2015

Sunday, July 19, 2015

My gut DOES have a voice!

Yesterday, my love and I lazily wandered over to a friend's yard sale to pick up an office chair and ran into a girl I loosely knew -- a friend of a friend of a friend. She greeted me warmly and it seemed nice to connect until she tossed her hair back and playfully batted my sweetie on the shoulder. "We should hang! We should TOTALLY hang. We can party together!"

Not really my thing.
Not being the "party" type, this seemed more directed at him than me (although without much reason since neither is he). I looked uncomfortably at them both.

BF, ever observant, answered for me. "She's not really into that."
More my thing.
"That's okay," she countered. "YOU don't have to drink. He and I will just have a few." She gestured flirtatiously towards her new potential drinking buddy.

I surprised myself by what I said next. "That's not really that cool with me."

She was taken aback. "What? But it will be so much fun!"

Fun for who?

"I don't know," I said. "It just feels weird. Like, 'Oh hey, how about your boyfriend and I get drunk!' -- that just doesn't feel comfortable."

I didn't recognize myself or the words coming out. Who was saying this?

She looked at me and realized I was serious. "But you'll be RIGHT THERE," she pushed.

BF looked at me, seeing the friendliness drain out of my face. He'd never known me to be jealous or protective before and wasn't quite sure what to think.

Neither did I. I'd never done anything like this before.

The girl tried to save the conversation. "Well, it's good that you know your boundaries!"

I smiled wanly and we all stood in awkward silence.

She turned towards me and smiled. "Well. Anyway. Last time we saw each other, we said we would get together. We should totally do that! I mean, we said we would hang out, right?  This time there should be NO excuses! NONE! When are you free?"

Wait, what? I don't want to hang out. How the fuck do you say, "Can't you just be happy to see me every other year for 5 minutes in passing at some mutual friend's gathering?" Why do we have to be friends??

I mumbled something about being busy (truth) and tried to back away ungracefully to my car, waving goodbye.

I can't think of too many times I haven't wanted to be friends with someone, but this wasn't just because she seemed like the type to strip naked and lap dance on my man in front of me. But I couldn't quite put the unease into words.

Trying to avoid this scenario.
Luckily, Amazing BF trusted me even though I couldn't fully verbalize everything (thank goodness we are not new anymore) and later, I confirmed with a few other friends that she had some issues that made her unstable, toxic and dangerous.

My gut had grabbed me and shook hard, but heeding it made me feel excessively bitchy. But maybe it's important to be bitchy sometimes.

Thursday, July 16, 2015


Earlier, someone dragged me out to their car to give me "cool stuff" they were clearing out of their house. ("It's too awesome to just donate!")


1. A used cardboard box that a set of nail polish once came in.

2. A tent flap.

Um... thanks?

(Sent from my phone)

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Pictures really do say it best (text convo in 3 steps...)

We disconnected a bit, but it doesn't stay that way long before we realize it. Note the happy photo: resolution!

I'm still waaay too sensitive, but he's so tender with me. He really understands me.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Exes Explain Ghosting, the Ultimate Silent Treatment - NYTimes.com

Yes, I've seen this, and it annoys me. I think people should treat others with respect; discomfort with difficult conversations ("it's not you it's me" etc.) doesn't absolve us from the responsibility to treat people with care. I've not "ghosted" (and been thanked for being honest) but it's happened to me a couple times. That does sting. (Not counting going on one date with someone and neither feels a spark and neither follows up - I think that's okay, you are only meeting someone and not involved yet.)

"Whether this behavior has become more predominant with the advent of technology is debatable, but perhaps now it stings more, since there are so many ways to see your beloved interacting with other people while ignoring you. The rise of apps like Tinder and Grindr, and the impression they give that there is always someone else — literally — around the corner, is certainly empowering to ghosts."


(Sent from my phone)

Where love begins

""Where the myth fails, human love begins,"Ana├»s Nin wrote in her diary in 1941"Then we love a human being, not our dream, but a human being with flaws." Indeed, just like perfectionism kills creativity, it also kills love – the more we mythologize and idealize the person we love, the more disillusioned and disheartened we grow as we come to know their imperfect humanity which, if untainted by these blinding ideals, is the very wellspring of true love." 


(Sent from my phone)