Friday, September 7, 2012

me: 0; zombie apocalypse: 1

"And for my FIRST decision of the day, I shall go back to sleep." -Jim Gaffigan
I was sleeping over a girlfriend's house when air raid sirens blasted through the darkness, startling me out of a sound slumber. AIR RAID sirens are only unleashed when imminent death is descending upon the population; awareness of this fact is buried deep in our genetic code. I bolted upright and listened for telltale signs of the zombie apocalypse, like rotten fingernails clawing at windows and signs of survival panic emanating from my friend's room upstairs.

The house remained quiet. I looked at the soft feather pillow and inviting rumple of blankets surrounding me. I wondered idly how close we were to a nuclear facility and whether I could get another full 90-minute sleep cycle before liquifying into an organic mud from the radiation meltdown. Decided it was worth the try, shrugged and tucked back under the covers.

The will to sleep is much greater than the will to live, I guess. It's good to know these things about oneself!


  1. I commend and second your decision to go back to sleep. Really, at that point, what are you going to do about the impending doom?

    Just one question - exactly what are the sounds of survival panic?

    1. Frantic movement! Since there weren't any signs of her stirring, I figured either she was either "meh" about imminent death too, or just sleeping through it. heh.

  2. Some towns have a test of the sirens on a regular basis, and others use them to summon the volunteer fire fighters to the Fire Dept. station house.


    To resign oneself to a little more sleep after your adrenal glands have just emptied themselves into your blood stream, I find difficult. I have to admire your meditative calm to be able to fall back asleep.

  3. It's my only superpower!!