off-guard

Spent the weekend cycling with the Cyclist. Three days of bike riding
bliss. I was worried he'd want to scale Mt. Everest since he's an
athlete and I'm, well, NOT, but he let me set the pace and seemed
content. Like, content that I was content which was weird because I
half-expected him to bark out expectations I'd be sure to fail, like
"One more hill! So what if it's ninety degrees? Work hard for me!
Prove you're worthy of my attention! Plus you need to work off that
last oreo!"; not because he's ever done this but because some part of
me is still used to disappointing.

I haven't really mentioned the getting-to-know him part to anyone
because experience has taught me to be wary -- people unfold and you
only find out whether the fit works over time. But not including the
hiccup where I thought we'd end things and shift strictly into a
friendship, it's been about 2.5 months now that we're slowly getting
to know each other. We don't talk about feelings and we haven't had
the "let's be exclusive" talk yet, and I can't tell how into me he is
because he is reserved but my goodness he treats me with care. A girl
could fall for someone that attentive and kind.

Like, one tiny thing that caught me off guard: while watching a show
together, he called out from the kitchen "want a yogurt?" "Sure!" I
said. He brought over my favorite flavor, one he happens to hate. Not
only did he pay attention during my boring, unsolicited "zomg I love
that flavor" testimonial but he went out and BOUGHT some. Just for me.
When I didn't even know if I would ever set foot in his apartment
again.

He also walks me out to my car no matter the time or weather or even
if I'm parked right out front and only have 4 steps from the elevator
to my front seat. And then he hands me little care packages secretly
assembled while I am getting ready to leave -- apples carefully cut &
wrapped for my ride home and fig newtons for a later treat.

I am the effusive, affectionate one and I can't always tell if he
welcomes this or merely tolerates it but I fill with warmth when I see
him anyway because of the way he treats me. Maybe he went to Boyfriend
Finishing School and this is just his M.O. but lucky me, to know this
private and sweet soul for whatever time we continue to share.