Thursday, February 7, 2013

6 questions to ask to see if your relationship is in trouble

(I found this on the internet somewhere, copied it, saved it, and now I forget where it came from so I can't credit it.)

Six questions to ask yourself about your relationship and signs it may be heading for trouble:

  1. Do you find it difficult to ask for what you want in your relationship? Do you keep your needs to yourself?
  2. Do you avoid discussing issues in your relationship? Do you fear that initiating a conversation will only make it worse?
  3. When you are having a problem, does your partner refuse to talk about it? Do you feel shut out or dismissed?
  4. Do you find yourself guessing what your partner thinks/feels?
  5. Do you feel attacked/criticized when you're not getting along? Does your partner respond in a way that puts you on the defensive?
  6. Do you feel unsuccessful at comforting your partner when he/she is upset? Do you "give up" because you don't know what to do?
This is a good measure for evaluating how comfortable you feel being yourself and expressing yourself.

I also think it's important to know how you feel inside when you're together and also have just left their company. What's the drive home like? Do you feel energized? Rejuvenated? Fulfilled? Drained? Tired? Are you looking forward to seeing them again? When you think of spending time with them, does it feel good? How you feel reveals much.


  1. Some of those are less subtle than others.
    I'd disagree with number 4. Some people are just less expressive than others, but over time, they become easier to read.

    I couldn't agree more with that last bit of advice! But sometimes even the best relationships are work...

  2. Ha! #4 is the only one that isn't a trigger for me either -- I agree with you. Incidentally, it's the only one I experience now sometimes too.

    All relationships require care and feeding. Amounts vary. :)

  3. Since it's Jersey hair, I hope I don't have to remind you - go big or go home!

    I once got a buzzcut. It was such a bad idea, that now I don't worry about my hair. I'm just glad I have some.

    1. Oops - this should have gone on the next post...