Ways in which I failed to adequately prepare for today's bedside hospital vigil, and other snippets from ICU visit

Ways in which I failed to adequately prepare for today's bedside hospital vigil:

• Last night's reckless 1am "I'll sleep tomorrow!" Asplenia grossly overestimated Today Asplenia's ability to sleep contorted in waiting room chairs.
• Misjudged fascination of premenopause as a topic to hold hours-long interest and did not bring a backup book.
• Plans to catch up on email thwarted by inability to access email from hospital wifi.
• I can't remember who I bought this Thank You card for.
• I have now reached the end of the Internet. It wasn't worth it.
• Placement of electrical outlet in waiting room is riiight by the TV blaring terrifying loops of Ebola news.
• Daytime TV has made me lose faith in humanity.

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Red beans & rice dish in hospital cafeteria. 

I sent this to a friend and they said, "that should be called 'red bean and rice.'"

Another friend, upon seeing the above pic: They're probably all on the bottom.
Me: Your optimism surprises me.
Friend: It's not like I have faith in kidney beans. Food settles.
Me: Ah, then this should be called "two-layer dip." I'm a literalist.





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This is an issue enough to have had a sign made?!?!?!??

So, I'm guessing at least TWO incidences, if not more, of something have to happen in order for someone to order signs made, and I noticed this sign in every woman's restroom stall in the hospital:

Seriously???

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Last snippet from hospital stay:

My mom is so cute. She's in the ICU recovering after surgery and she can barely lift her head off the pillow but a guy just peeked in looking for his mom and she motioned toward me.

"He seems nice," she whispered weakly, "maybe he's single?"