My deepest love,
Sorry I've been unavailable all night while you were texting, wondering where I am.
I was holed up in the bathroom with a pipe auger, needlenose pliers and a tub of benzoyl peroxide. Afterall, I have to prepare for our first Valentine's Day, my dearest. The clock is ticking and it takes time to mangle the second head enough for it to fall off.
Cannot wait. <3
Love always,
Your (hopefully soon will be) beautiful girlfriend
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