Monday, February 20, 2012

what do you need?

I leave out a lot of details from my posts to protect other people's privacy. I try to just concentrate on what I'm processing -- there's no reason to talk about what someone else said or did because that leaves them open for judgment. And since they can't present their side too here (I mean, this is MY journal), it feels unfair. Also, this is about me learning, not blaming, and I can't grow if I'm not humbly willing to examine my part.

But I have been thinking lately about how much of our circumstances contribute to our well-being. A comment from an earlier post touched there and then used chemistry as an example:
"The directions said to heat the components slowly over an open flame, and you used what? The microwave? No wonder it blew up."
Maybe the thing to learn is what you need.

I once heard someone say, "I had a really shitty past. But I learned that I need this type of life, these types of friends, that much sleep, this kind of food, a special schedule, this sort of job, this kind of free time, etc. So now I make sure I have those things. And my life is pretty awesome. I'm happy."

Knowing what you need means you can, well, go after it. How much of the suck comes from trying to change the shape of the unshapeable? Or forego our needs?

Try an exercise with me. What do you need? What feels good -- what kind of schedule, how much sleep, what kind of connections, etc.? You don't have to list it below. But think about it. And I will too. Awareness is half the battle, right?


  1. This is good advice, I'm going to try it...

  2. Rock on, Asplenia! These are all excellent questions!

  3. Hmm... I've never actually thought about what I need. I'm always normally thinking about what other people want or need. It consumes me so much I don't really take the time to think about whatever it is I may need... I'm going to do that. I'm going to think of things that I need.

    That makes me glad I stumbled upon your blog. :)