Thursday, June 16, 2011

The shitty year of love, summarized (aka the romances that mostly weren't)

Since my marriage ended, here are those that were or might have been.

Sort ofs:

Aqua-eyed Boy: He made me laugh when I needed it.

The Artist: who I'm dating now. He's still learning how to read me and what makes me edgy but I appreciate his compassion.


Mr. Aquarium: a genuine gentleman with many ladies fawning over him on OkStupid. We only went on 2 dates before I realized I wasn't ready to be more then friends. We stayed friends though, that was cool. 

Mr. Sean Penn: had a sparkly way about him that made me temporarily wonder about a romance but I couldn't deal with the dudeness aspect. I think he got high ALL the time.

Mr. State Department: warm eyes and smile, I could picture hugging him after a long day. But he confessed he had 144 cans of black beans in his house and I wasn't ready to advance to the burrito-making stage. He was very sweet though and we keep in touch via Facebook. He looks happy with his new beau.

Mr. Computer Genius Manager: Weirdly, it felt like I'd known him 20 years, that was our comfort level. But it was too soon after the breakup and when he tried to kiss me I burst into tears. Somehow he understood anyway (having been through similar trials) and didn't hold it against me. We are still friends.

Exes #1 & 2: Our psyches are in different places now, so no.

Blonde High School Best Friend: I never allowed myself to think of him "that way" because I was friends with his ex once and so when he tentatively inquired, I still was not comfortable imagining more. 

Mr. Texas: we teetered on the brink of a relationship back in college but nothing ever came of it. Still, I have a sweet memory of us sitting on a beach blanket together while his long hair flowed in the wind as we laughed at everything and nothing before he paused and sweetly said "I love you, Asplenia." But then we were too shy to even kiss. We never did bridge the friendship-to-romance gap. Today, we are too different. Whatever moment may have been passed a long, long time ago. But I still think very highly of him.

The Doctor: very compatible but our busy lives and the long distance would be tough to negotiate. Cuddling on the beach that one time rocked though. I wondered what it would be like to kiss him. I never found out.

Aqua-eyed Boy's friend #1 & 2: it's kinda not cool to date friends of exes, you know? Also they were both too young.

The Actor: great guy but I stiffened at his touch. I guess there was just no chemistry. We're still friends though too.

The Rock Star: I knew his ex beau and thus couldn't cross that line.

California Guy: never met in person but we wrote back & forth, having become friends through our blogs. We had a few flirty phone conversations but then I met the artist.

Guys I liked but showed no reciprocal interest:

Friend #1: Indeed, the first and longest friend-crush I've ever had. He makes me feel at home. But I never reached out. If he wanted to explore something, he would have indicated as much. I did worry that a romance would strain the friendship if it didn't work out but I would have risked it anyway if he had been interested.

Mr. Galapagos: If he lived here, I would want to hang out with him all the time, that's how much I enjoy his personality.


  1. Wow, all of this happened in a year? I'm sorry all of those didn't work out (except hopefully the artist!). At least you were out there trying though. I have a feeling my year is going to look similar to this by the time it's done...

  2. That's quite a list. I enjoyed hearing about them, and Mr. Texas (since, you know, that's where I'm from) gave me a case of the awwww's because I know how sweet Texas boys can be.

    The Artist sounds heavenly. Like the most understanding guy in the world. Lucky, lucky girl. :)