Thursday, August 16, 2012

Relationships where your partner is fantasizing about other people are shitty relationships and I don't care if that makes me close-minded

During the first "something feels off" conversation we ever had:
him: I might see like 10 women a day I want to have sex with.

me: Oh, uh, maybe that's an indication that this has run its course then?

him: Oh no! I was like that when I was married too and I was crazy about my wife. It's not a marker of how much I like someone.
Well, that's reassuring.

Note to any dudes reading this: we GET the wandering eye thing. It's your biology, it's how you're made. I'm not intimidated if you think other women are hot, just, you know, be respectful about it. You don't have to MENTION every chick you mentally undress. Please? Besides, that's kindof the opposite of the "make your partner feel special" rule that contributes to a healthy union. Thank you!


  1. Ouch. That sucks.
    On the other hand, maybe the closing of the door and having the hope of rekindling gone will Help you completely let it go and move on.

  2. There is a reserve, no, a fount, or perhaps a well-spring of hope that exists within all of us. As 'The hope' specific to just one situation or relationship, is not . . .
    the end of Asplenia's hope. I have faith in your heart and brain (and spleen) that (most) all will be well. {at some unspecified time in the future}
    Glad of your realization(s), I'd like to say that the energy used for self flagellation may, just maybe better used in meditation (as you mentioned previously)...

  3. Oh...damn. I know that hurts.
    My immediate thoughts were in agreeance with what EG said though I know that's not what you'd like to hear right now but as a stranger who has grown to care about your success, happiness and gentle heart, I think it's the painful ripping off of the bandage that you needed so that things can now begin to heal. Sending you my love and hugs over the internets. <3 <3 <3

  4. Yeah, I sure hope so. Thanks, everyone. <3

  5. You just want to feel loved man, I get that. That's really what we all want and when we don't get that, we desperately try to find out what's wrong with US. It's not about you, it's not personal.

  6. umm.. the guy who said that about 'seeing 10 girls a day he want's to have sex with' and actually told his wife this, has serious problems on an emotional level and will only find happiness in a partner who is as fucked up as he is.

    Do not waste your time. Yea, seriously.