So, I said I would talk about my heart here on this blog. And lately I don't know what to say.
The Cyclist and I are developing a really nice foundation of trust and friendship. What I can't tell if we're developing is a sense of closeness. This amount of distance is okay in the early stages but it's starting to move past that. If it doesn't show signs of deepening, if we don't begin to connect more, it will start to feel empty.:(
I guess there's not much else to say.
Why empty?
ReplyDeleteYou have a perfectly good relationship there, as it sounds.
Is the "deepening" something that you can describe?
What speed 'you' might feel is right or need may not correspond with the pace of another. It takes practice to run with others and feel comfortable.
Run too slow and it can hurt as much as if you rush; running so hard you start to make mistakes, trip, fall, [get hurt] and in the mean time your heart races and you can hardly catch a breath.
Sorry, but... Another thought. What is the standard that you are measuring this relationship to?
ReplyDeleteThere is a gut/heartfelt 'something' that seems to propel you toward an ultimate result. [Vague, I know.] But, is there a feeling, that you have known that you are trying to replicate with Mr Cyclist?
Yes, I remember various criteria that you have posted before (qualities, behaviors, personality traits, etc.) that you would prefer for You.
Take a moment and turn that around, and think, No. . . Ask Mr Cyclist about what he wants (i.e. as above) I know that you can do it, you are smart, gentle, tactful, and direct enough... Perhaps if you feel that You cannot delve into that territory, for fear of something? Or you risk sounding ___________ as a result.
...All is not lost.
These questions are good topics for a post -- they have me thinking.... thank you!
ReplyDelete