Where does fear come from?

The origin of fear is loss of confidence.

• Pain at the dentist.
• The heartache of failed love.
• Lost in the city.
• Injured while skiing.
• Falling down.
• Betrayed.
• Failing.

Before we experience these things, we are innocent. The first time a bare knee hits the pavement, we instantly become educated to the possibility of falling off our bikes.

We become scared when we realize we can be hurt.

How do you get your groove back?

You gain confidence back through through repeated exposure, a sense of control, and practice.

Keep doing that thing. Exposure takes away the newness. Did you know that it takes about 4 times of repeating something before it stops feeling as new? That's the minimum number of times you will, say, need to drive someplace before you start to recognize the route (although it may take 6-10 times before you start feeling bolder).

Gain a sense of control by having training wheels or a GPS or exploring the route when there's no deadline. Date without giving your heart away until you're more sure you're both on the same page. Get back up on your skis and try again. Take a class. Keep dancing.