Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Sharing the process means sharing the road

Not sharing your inside process sure makes you look a lot stronger and more capable. A friend of a friend who just landed an amazing job understood this. He applied for 400 positions. The 399 rejection letters crushed him each time, but he didn't share that part. When the offer finally came in, he announced the great news on Facebook and received countless applause. 

Would he have been more accessible, more... *human* if he'd said, "I keep trying and failing" during the process? It took him almost 2 years  but no one knew how many setbacks he faced, how many times he lost his own confidence or will.

Same with the marathon trainer, people see your intent and then your result. If you don't talk about the in-between, everyone thinks it's seamless. 

That's why I have mixed feelings about this blog. I want to seem strong, to announce things when they're cemented but I hate the kinds of false pretenses society teasingly invites, erecting walls between us instead of inspiring the journey. (I hate to sound new agey but it IS a journey, isn't it? We may not always get what we hope but we learn things along the way, why not share the road?)

(Sent from my phone)


  1. Well, not sharing everything isn't necessarily bad.
    As long as you're honest with yourself.

    And congrats to your friend!

  2. It really depends on the goal.

    If the goal is to seem awesome and get a pat on the back for accomplishments (or, worded slightly differently "to share good news and joy"), then only telling the good parts is the way to do it.

    However, if the goal is to track your own progress or help other people feel that they're not alone in their challenges--or to, maybe, get some external insight into figuring out your own--then you kind of have to talk about the whole process and, most especially, the failures.

    I'm a fan of the second way there. And I say, if you can more or less safely do so, DO IT. (I know I wish I could, but my issues don't make much sense without context [because they barely make sense *with* context] and that context involves other people who don't rightly deserve to be dragged through a public process of me figuring stuff out.)