Saturday, May 4, 2013

Acupuncture, aka the human pincushion experience

I tried acupuncture recently because a friend with a similar previous medical issue found it helped her. Part of me feels like it is flake pseudoscience but it IS recognized as a scientifically valid treatment for cancer pain and so, although that is the only thing the scientific community recognizes it for right now, I figured what the hell.

Some observations:

1. What was I thinking? Volunteering to be stuck with NEEDLES?? Am I HIGH??

2. People who say you don't feel anything are lying mofos. (The tinier the needles, the better, however -- it really did make a difference.) The most sensitive areas of the body are ones with the least amount of fat, like your ankle or elbow joints so those smarted most. Once they were in though, I didn't feel anything.

3. Acupuncturists don't just stick you, they stick you and then leave the acupuncture needles in for the magic to work.

After turning me into a human pincushion, the practioner unfolded a space blanket and rested it on the needles, setting the stage to build an elaborate set of fantasies involving all the possible scenarios that could result in an emergency room visit. Luckily, my default state for quiet, dark rooms is deep slumber, however, and this overpowered the need to worry; I fell asleep almost immediately after she exited the room.

4. Not only did some of the needles hurt going in, but one (an elbow) produced an electric twanging that resonated for a good few seconds, feeling not unlike a hearty funny bone thwack. That was very awesome and relaxing.

5. Afterwards, the acupuncturist asked me "so how do you feel?"

"Um, the same? Am I supposed to feel different?"

I did not feel anything then, nor since. But we'll see. Results from physical therapy take a little time, maybe this does too. (To be continued....)

(Sent from my phone)


  1. Um...hope the effects kick in and you start feeling better...

    (I'll stick with pharmaceutical science for my pain relief.)

  2. Interesting experience. At least not you can say you tried it. On top of that you can say you got a very good, though exotic, nap.

  3. I know people that swear by it but its never appealed to me.

    Not to put too fine a point on it. *nudge*nudge*

  4. I want to know what happened! Where is the continuation, the sequel of this post? :)
    Ed of