It
is a personal quest of mine to have a sparkly bathroom and so I am
constantly scrubbing it down. This has worked most of my life, but
yesterday while shopping, I found myself entering a strange state in the
cleaning aisle. The kind of state brought on by exposure to the
electromagnetic mind-erasing mechanism known as Really Bad Bee Gees at
Safeway.
I happened to be in front of the toilet
cleaners when "How Deep Is Your Love?" sung by a chorus of eunichs
scratched over the supermarket loudspeakers, completely scrambling the
electrical activity in my brain.
I blacked out.
I awoke later in the bathroom holding what appeared to be a PlaySchool syringe.
Or an applicator worthy of shotgunning a month's supply of horrid genital medicines into unoccupied diseased-ridden orifices.
I opened this box to find an applicator full of a mysterious green gel.
The instructions commanded one to take charge -- grab the applicator, aim and shoot. Clear!
And voila -- one more North American commode is now radioactive.
Anyway. The toilet should smell nice, as pleasant as plutonium-scented flowers might be. Let's see how it holds up!
Woman, you have found yourself yet another commercial calling. Consumer Reporting for The Onion perhaps...
ReplyDeleteThank you for the...
I don't know what to call it?
I laughed, I sighed, I even worried a little, a complete emotional roller coaster...