Driving around my city's major thoroughfare, I noticed the guy behind me hugging my rear. I wondered, "How can he be comfortable tailgating
that close?" but I didn't feel that irritated.
This is one of my superpowers -- I rarely get irritated or angry in traffic. Impatient, maybe, but then I crank up the music and sing along, resigning to a fate I cannot change. (Unless I am lost, late, or there's a tornado
warning in effect, that is.)
There was a guy in my meditation class, however, that had to consciously work not to feel enraged behind the wheel. It was one of the things he was targeting in class.
People often asked, back when I was taking the class, "What's meditation FOR though? Why do you need it?" Well, it's just a tool for dealing with stress.
There are a million tools -- playing sports, singing, taking a shower, whatever you enjoy -- it's just a way to get really good at redirecting the focus of your attention.
We can't control our feelings or really even our thoughts but we CAN control what we choose to focus our attention on.
You might put on a pair of pants and think "OMG these make me look fat!" but instead of following that thought down the rabbithole of your suckitude, you can refocus. Let the thought pass through, observe it
but don't dive into it. Soon enough, you'll be thinking of something else.
However you are, you are - that guy in my meditation class will
probably always have to work at relaxing while driving. And I'll probably always have to work at being less self-critical. But we target what we need.