Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I do not own sufficient underclothes.

I went on a bra strike over a decade ago in a silent protest at the wires and padded cloth that make up most bras. It is extremely difficult to find suitable bras when you're small and don't mind. The only options either falsely elevate, have padding to add "dimension," contain stiff wires for "lift," or have tight bands whose makers assume your middle must be as thick as your thigh if your cup size is that small. I could never just find a normal bra.

Just shopping for one left me exhausted. I would try on every brand, make and model, carefully prying each from the hangers and slithering into position, arms twisting unnaturally around back to grasp futilely at the clasp while pushing the anti-theft device aside, shoulders popping. It always took several tries before I was fully "clasped."

Then, since no real bra can be determined to fit without viewing it under clothing, I'd have to hike my shirt back on and angle back and forth in front of the mirror.

There was always something wrong. If the bra fit, the cloth was too scratchy. If it was soft, the back bands were ugly and wide, creating unnatural folds. If it was pretty, it was a torso tourniquet. If it was comfortable, it offered no "coverage," and if it was perfect, it only came in a hideous, boner-reducing skin pink.

All that and THEN I'd begin tiresome task of reclasping and folding each one neatly back on its hanger, returning home empty-handed.

Every year I would do this, and every year I would remember "oh THAT'S why I never do this. Man, I HATE shopping."

But then I discovered the semi. (Cue rainbows!) It's basically a half halter top / sports bra. Goes on quickly with no fuss or fumbling, the material is soft, doesn't restrict movement AND doesn't make me look weird or unnatural. YES!

I have not missed wearing a bra in over a decade. What about you? Do you favor a particular kind of bra? You ever go without altogether? (That I can't do in public unless wearing the baggiest of sweatshirts.) What takes priority -- shaping, coverage, or comfort?

1 comment:

  1. Argh! I hate shopping, too. Not just bra shopping, all clothes shopping. And it's because I'm not a normal size or shape. I have the body of a 15-yr-old girl. I'm 38!

    But bras, since you asked, I hate wearing. When I'm home, it's ripped off as soon as possible. I've perfected taking it off without taking anything else off. I hate wires and won't get a wire bra but do like the boost-'em-ups. ;)