two choices: steep in shitty feelings, or steep in shitty feelings.
"Well, I have two choices," I tweeted last night. "I can steep in shitty feelings for the rest of the night, or I can steep in shitty feelings for the rest of the night."
Hmm. Is there a need to avoid emotion (perhaps something that you yourself characterize as 'bad') in front of others, showing vulnerability, or perhaps giving the 'other' the power (to decide, to judge, to hear your side of 'the story')?
I have often wondered about the above, concerning myself, and more recently have had opportunities to stay, and though I still want to avoid conflict (in general), I stay a moment longer than my instincts would like. I just see how it goes. The analogy in my mind is staying as it begins to rain standing/walking in the rain, taking a moment to resign myself to being wet and cold. Perhaps finding myself emotional (crying even) and staying put, embarrassed, and feeling a complete fool, but staying put. As a child I would leave, run away, depart the situation in some way. I have no idea why I have made this small change. Is it to test myself?
Pardon my ramble, as I feel I may have overstayed my welcome... -B
Thank you, you don't have to do that though. (Shout out)
I'm glad you found something that worked for you and I'm still seriously considering the running thing. I'll be bringing the Marlboro's though if I do. You know, in case I get tired of running and need to sit down and have a smoke break. ;)
I'm really curious about him wanting to talk, which seems sweet, but am a little leery of the comment "I am certain that our story is not finished, though I'm uncertain what the next chapter will be" because some people like to keep other people hanging around for 'just in case'.
It takes an ocean not to break.
ReplyDeleteHang in there lady.
Hmm. Is there a need to avoid emotion (perhaps something that you yourself characterize as 'bad') in front of others, showing vulnerability, or perhaps giving the 'other' the power (to decide, to judge, to hear your side of 'the story')?
ReplyDeleteI have often wondered about the above, concerning myself, and more recently have had opportunities to stay, and though I still want to avoid conflict (in general), I stay a moment longer than my instincts would like. I just see how it goes. The analogy in my mind is staying as it begins to rain standing/walking in the rain, taking a moment to resign myself to being wet and cold.
Perhaps finding myself emotional (crying even) and staying put, embarrassed, and feeling a complete fool, but staying put. As a child I would leave, run away, depart the situation in some way. I have no idea why I have made this small change. Is it to test myself?
Pardon my ramble, as I feel I may have overstayed my welcome... -B
Thank you, you don't have to do that though. (Shout out)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found something that worked for you and I'm still seriously considering the running thing. I'll be bringing the Marlboro's though if I do. You know, in case I get tired of running and need to sit down and have a smoke break. ;)
I'm really curious about him wanting to talk, which seems sweet, but am a little leery of the comment "I am certain that our story is not finished, though I'm uncertain what the next chapter will be" because some people like to keep other people hanging around for 'just in case'.