Ain't nobody got time for (shitty dates)

Last night I raced from work to a restaurant I had picked specifically because it was near a craft store (plan B, yo) and the dread began to mount during the 30 second phone call while my blind date and I tried to locate each other. Conversation was so stilted and awkward that I texted a friend from the parking lot "omg this is going to suuuuuck."

Ten minutes after sliding into the booth, the conversation was so bad that I just folded up my menu and said, "Hey, um... I don't think we should order after all." He looked confused. Poor guy, I genuinely think he didn't understand that his critical nature was turning me off. "So, what, you work for da gubment? Like, you enjoy that?" Okay, Vinnie, I realize very little impresses you, and you just pulled out and picked apart everything I mentioned in my profile in the name of conversation but it would be awfully nice if you stopped scowling for at least five minutes.

I didn't even want to try having a nice time, not even to preserve someone else's feelings. So I bagged it.


Back in the parking lot, I texted the guy I met last week who invited me out for tonight but I'd had to decline because of the date with Vinnie.

me: "Want to meet afterall? Earlier date didn't work out."

him: "I want to hear all about it! I got reservations in an hour at Restaurant X, let's go."

me: "I won't have time to change! I don't generally dress up for first dates and that's a fancy restaurant."

him: "Don't worry about it, come as you are."

me: "But I'm wearing the SAME EXACT THING I wore for our first date last week..."

him: "Okay now that's funny!"

So Friday Night Version 2.0 was MUCH better than Version 1.0.

Then today I went to a bead show with a girlfriend and another guy I had met last week joined us. We spent FIVE HOURS looking at beads and the dude did not once look tired or bored. He should include that impressive feature on his dating profile!