Sunday, June 23, 2013

Wanting what you have

From Friday's Carolyn Hax column (question paraphrased):
Q. "I hate tattoos. I think they're ugly. My husband has discovered he loves them and has started to plaster them all over his body. Luckily, I'm still attracted to him but what if that changes?"

A. "I can’t promise you’ll remain attracted to him when he’s a walking needlepoint sampler. I do hope you’ll at least consider, though, that the reason you’re still attracted to him now isn’t that he has left just enough bare spots, but instead that you still love who he is. I hope this not because I think it’s a magic solution, but because doing so is a step toward wanting what you have. ... I think acceptance, difficult as it will be, is the only choice you can trust not to let you down." (source: Washington Post Friday 6/21/2013)
Wanting what you have. I love that.

Lots of us don't want what we get: the mate who gets sick, the hair that turns gray or falls out, the body that stops working. I don't care what my sweetie or parents or loved ones would face, I would love them and be there regardless. I sometimes thought to myself, shortly after my marriage ended, that if something, god forbid, happened to him right then, I would pledge to take care of him anyway, backtrack leaving. Enough time has passed and he has a new sweetie to do that so that won't be necessary but the thought was there. My meager resources, what are they good for if not to give when there's need?

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