Sunday, September 1, 2013


When I agreed to meet today's date, it wasn't a date in my mind. We'd been chatting by email and although from two different worlds - my atheistic one and his ultra-religious one, I felt some empathy for him, having lost his wife last year and just now branching out for friendships. But when we did the "hi, nice to meet you" hug, he clung to me and wouldn't let go, trembling slightly. I'm guessing he hasn't been hugged in quite some time, poor guy. But OHMYGHD freak out.

We sat at the table and it would have been a nice enough conversation if it wasn't for the marriage talk. Not his marriage, OUR marriage. I guess this is what it means when someone is "marriage-minded" - the first date is mostly about picking out the ring (he actually bridged this) and how we can spend our Sabbath regarding our mutually different celebrations, but please can I not make pork for dinner?


Luckily he had to take a phone call and I texted a girlfriend. "Meet me in a half hour? I gotta talk." So now I'm sitting in a diner writing and waiting for her, trying to shake off his scent (dear god I hate perfume and cologne) and thinking about our parting words:

Him: I'm going to miss you when I drive away. The second you are out of my sight I will be missing you already.

Me: [blinking]

Him: Can I call you? I want to see you again. I'm very attracted to you. (Wipes spittle from lip.)

Me: Um, I think it will be nice to just be friends....

Him: oh no! I'm getting the friendship speech on the first date!

Me: [gulp] [fuck!]


Time to update my profile a bit more. It's so easy at this point to state what I DON'T want, oy.

(Sent from my phone)


  1. This will make an excellent entry in your DEAR GOD AVOID THESE DATES!!! book.

    I am laughing, but it's in sympathy with you. If nothing else, you gave a lonely widower a nice evening.
    Hopefully he'll move on.

  2. I'M TOTALLY PUTTING THIS IN A BOOK. With a pen name, of course. And details changed to protect the creepy.