- Shame at my sensitivity, which, despite my unique fucking snowflakeness, does not feel like a gift.
- Irritation: why am I this way?
- Realization: oh, right.
- Self-awareness: this hurts more because of my history than because of the actual thing.
- Irritation: fuck! Knowing that doesn't change the way I feel?!?
- Indignation: I don't find fault with shit he does even though there are things I don't like either.
- Rationalization: well, it's his house, he's entitled to wanting what he wants and expressing that. If he stayed at your house, it may be you in those shoes.
- Wandering: I wonder if that other dude who seems so sweet would treat me more gently.
- Wondering: how much of this is my history and how much is a basic incompatibility?
- Realization: consider that when he understood what was happening for you, he instantly responded with kindness. That's something, right?
- Conclusion: welp, it's a good thing I haven't decided I'm done with counseling.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
cycling through the 11 stages
The ride home from his house went like this:
at 8:00 PM