Thursday, January 27, 2011

May the fail be with you.

I'm not totally sure what just happened but it involved a really intense conversation that turned into a fight and then turned into a breakup of a relationship that wasn't quite a relationship.
We were like the little relationship that couldn't.
 And now I am sitting here wondering, is it possible to get a fever from stress? Because I have one right now, and it happened right after the "have a nice life" email.

So, I just mentioned that this occurred over email, which means I had plenty of time to take a shower, come back, dry hair, get dressed, you know -- get ready for the hot date with my shovel to dig my car out from last night's epic snowfall.

Somewhere in the middle of the vexation part, I began a maniacal hair-curling session.

I had been fidgeting for his response when I suddenly noticed the tiny thin rods tucked away in my set of curlers that I'd never used before. Huh, I wonder what that would look like? Girls I know with tight curls always look so cute, lemme try. There was nothing on my agenda that would be affected by a bad hair day so why not.

Well, here's why not:
FAIL. Almost me, except I have dark hair
and the heart shape would be broken & bleeding.
Um. It was a DISASTER. It wasn't even fit for a snow-shoveling appearance down the asphalt runway in front of my tiny unit. I threw my fried locks back in a FAIL ponytail and headed outside to battle with the heavy white stuff.

The last exchange had been approaching a bitter note and so I stepped into his stressed-out shoes and thoughtfully (at least attempted) to cull together a string of "I" statements, hoping to offset the mood.

But it, uh, didn't work so well. 

I find your lack of win disturbing.
May the fail be with you.
This is basically how the rest of the conversation ensued:






Yeah, see? This was awesome. We are so mature.
An Apocalyptical Failure
Seriously Man, Even Homer Facepalmed.

Or, more like FACEPALMED with all caps:

 Jesus may even have been facepalming at this one:

 We ended on a sweet and terrible note. "Talk to you next year!"

The care packages I started to put together and letters I started to write, things I put together to send this boy while deployed, I don't know what to do with any of it now.

He indicated he didn't want to hold me back, be a burden while he was gone. He won't let me stay attached.

I never could really tell if that was man-code for "wahoo, I'm off the hook!" or if he really wanted to "set me free." And now I'll never know.


  1. These pictures really do speak louder than words.

    Sounds like it's neither "I'm off the hook" or "set me free" but more "letting go for a while."

    If you still feel the same next year, then revisit your relationship. In the mean time, just let go and embrace failure full force!

  2. @Nguyet: <3<3<3<3<3<3
    My 2011 motto: embrace teh fail!