Friday, October 28, 2011

is it worth the risk?

HWSNBN (He Who Shall Not Be Named) and I joke easily. A recent topic was "A new hallmark series for those with personality disorders":

There's something special about this guy. I don't know if it's because he makes me howl with laughter or that he can write like nobody's business, or that he just does everything right, but I like him a lot.

How do people do this getting-close-to-others stuff? Knowing I'm very sensitive inside, do I just refrain or is it really actually better to try and lose than never to have tried at all? The last few times I went through endings, it felt like I'd swallowed glass. Is it worth the risk?


  1. Words to live by: It's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't. But that's just me. I'm okay (sort of) with a world of hurt if it means I went for something.

  2. "Growth and comfort cannot coexist", Ginny Rometti

  3. Those are both great comments and I'm not sure I can do it justice to respond any better. Just know that if someone makes you howl with laughter, writes beautifully, gets you and you enjoy their company and their kisses, the risk is worth it. It's so rare to should give it a shot. And your friends are there to pick up the pieces if it goes south. *HUG* Let's not think of endings before it's really begun, though, ok? :D

  4. Update: I don't think I can do this. If circumstances were different, maybe. But now, just friends. So, there's that.

  5. Men (people?) rarely work at being sustainedly funny and available to women (people?)who aren't of interest to them. Otoh, clever men who write well are often narcissists. (PKB?) The decent ones know this and will avoid getting involved with people they actually like. If you are enjoying yourself and aren't in a hurry, great. If not, a couple of bottles of wine rarely fail to clarify the dynamic.

    I love the "Hallmark (of Codependence)" idea. Although i think the "If the postcoital conversation is disappointing, just lie and tell me the sex was awful, I'll feel better" market may be cornered by someecards, et al.

    Bottom line, if he appears kind, you can risk more. Smart, nice people often do their overthinking ahead of time and often with the annotated contingencies and counterfactual trees. Glass swallowing is usually the result of overinvestment and a misuse of analytic AND empathetic talent.

    Chemistry will out. Which is both a blessing and a potential source of narrative disappointment.

    See feedbackloop (overthinking) | wine