Achievement unlocked: spoons (and other exciting highlights of the week)

So, I spent the majority of the past few days wanting to morph into another species (as one is wont to do upon the discovery that it appears to actually already be happening). But I'm on different medicine now and so it seems the transformation has been successfully intercepted. Now I just have to avoid parental interrogation so I can avoid being one more thing for them to worry about. Is there a card that says, "sorry I dropped off the planet for a few days and didn't call or write but I was too busy combing the internet for information on my diseases"??

Highlights of the week:

-- Acquired a pack of spoons for $1.99 from Target. This purchase thrills me, as I had been hovering on $6 grapefruit spoons (complete with a serrated edge) online just to avoid stepping foot into a store. I didn't really want to risk cutting open my lips every time I ate a yogurt but I did not want to pay $12 for the going rate of normal spoons and thus this appeared to be the only choice. It presented as quite the dilemma which heightened when I discovered both the local supermarket and drugstore did NOT carry utensils and I would be forced to set foot into a box store, a practice I abhor even when walking is physically possible. I'm not exactly sure how an entire bin of spoons slowly disappeared from the house in the first place but when one has this many roommates, at least it dilutes the irritation factor. Blame and other delaying tactics ultimately prove wholly unuseful, leaving the end goal (spoons) to become the only focus. Achievement unlocked.

-- Threw out my mid-mid back carrying a hanger from a girlfriend's basement. Clearly it was very heavy and my ribs (previously the only part of my body not seemingly affected by the medical crisis above) developed the kind of ache that prompted double-checking to ensure the blade of a small knife had not somehow lodged itself there while ascending the steps. (This may also have something to do with my sudden interest in this podcast on Phineas Gage.) When the pain didn't go away, I found myself lying on a massage table while a man with large hands authoritatively separated my shoulder blade from my body and commanded me to relax. As you can see, it was a very serene experience.

-- Did approximately 17 loads of laundry, because clearly, when I'm not feeling well, everything I sleep on needs to be boiled multiple times.

-- Bought a USB cable online to replace one I'd lost and then immediately found the original less than 24 hours later.

-- Had my toes pried apart during a dermatology physical and then got scolded for having painted toenails. "We can't see under the bed if you do that," she told me. "Just be sure it is clear. It needs to be clear under there."

-- My ($20) old behemoth of a laser printer died but I found a replacement on Craigslist for $5 (score!).

-- A nice man from Laos who has fallen upon hard times would like to entrust his entire estate to me, isn't that sweet?

It's been quite a week. See what you've missed?