Thursday, January 24, 2013

wanting what you have

"Relationships are complicated, but happiness in a relationship isn’t: it’s just wanting exactly what you have. Wanting something else is dispiriting." Carolyn Hax
I haven't been this content in a relationship in ages.

You know, when I pictured the thing that I thought would make me happy, I envisioned effusiveness and romantic gestures and soul-baring connection. This isn't that. But it's more: ease, trust, openness, coziness, warmth, joy.

The thing that stands out: it's so darn EASY in his company.

I tried to describe how I was feeling to my sister the other night. "I don't know how long this will last and I don't know how he feels about me. But somehow this is exactly what I need right now. It's wonderful."

I don't even want to think about anyone else. (Well, except to compare how I am feeling with other past experiences.) Somehow he makes me feel heard even when we are not speaking.

1 comment:

  1. This is revelatory. I can see, just in how you are writing, that you are more at ease, calm, like after a good meal "sated". [Not full or wanting for more], baby bear "just right" sort of feeling.

    That is good for my heart to hear.